Family Media Plans
All families should have a current family media plan. Did we say “All”? We sure did! Setting guidelines around media use is important and strongly recommended.
With guidelines in place, you have a launching pad for open and honest conversations about media use which are vital to raising tech-savvy kids. Your family media plan should be a working document and reviewed on a regular basis to keep it relevant. Make sure you get your children’s input so they feel included in a plan that is surely going to impact them.
We strongly believe that Family Media Plans should be based on your family’s unique set of values so before you get started on the plan, define those first. You can find a worksheet for establishing your family values and mission statement here. For a questionnaire on how to talk with your family about creating a Family Media Plan, click here.
We’ve spent years researching, suggesting and evaluating Family Media Plans and their effectiveness. Our plan is extensive and customizable, so it can be tailored for many different families with many different family values. It’s also based on the American Academy of Pediatrics research and suggestions on managing screen time.
More information about parenting apps
For information about parenting apps that can be used to monitor and limit screen time, check out this article.
Media Use in School-Aged Children and Adolescents is a great article from AAP which outlines the benefits and risks of media use. It also provides suggestions for parents and healthcare professionals. It is well-documented with references to studies done in 2015. This was published in 2016 and reaffirmed in 2022. Keep in mind, technology development is happening so fast and research takes a long time so while this is probably the most current data out there, media use has increased since these studies were done. Thorough information, none-the-less.
TLO Family Media Plan
We hesitated to make this plan available without the companion “Designing a Family Media Plan” seminar. If you’re interested in attending this seminar, check out our events page for the next one. If you would like to host one in your community, please reach out!
Parenting Tip: Content in italics is not included on the media plan but to give you, the parent, more information and a script to discuss each item with your family. (This is the downloadable “script” posted above.)
Begin by writing an intro and reading it out loud with your children to set the tone.
Write your own:
Express love for child(ren), reiterate family values and why balancing tech is important, mention consequences will be enforced.
How will you use tech together? “I look forward to texting with you, sharing social media posts, gaming, etc”
Clarify who owns the device? What happens if it is lost, broken or falls into the toilet? Who will have to pay to fix it or replace it? How can your child prepare (ie - get a job, save some money)?
Example:
“I love you and want you to be a well-rounded, healthy young person that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be consumed with it. It’s my job to guide you on screens and off. Navigating technology is a road we’re on together. I promise I’ll be someone safe you can come to when things go wrong, and we’ll figure it out together. I look forward to texting with you.”
Then read through the rest of the agreement together. Either check, modify, or add to the boxes to customize this agreement.
I will…
Put my devices in _______________________ room at ___:___ pm at night to charge or hand my device to my parents (Because blue light from devices interferes with sleep, devices should be put away 1-2 hours before set bedtime).
Ask you before I download any apps on my phone or device. (Mom and Dad must approve videos, movies and shows prior to viewing. No crazy clicking, mindless scrolling, going down the rabbit hole. All websites and apps must be approved by us prior to use. Only play games that we have approved. This applies to games and apps used outside of the house, at school and/or at friends’ homes)
Pay for any game or app purchases I make with my own money.
Only share photos mindfully and intentionally. And I will ask permission when sharing anyone else’s photo or video online. (Encourage kids to always ask themselves: Why am I sharing this photo? What am I hoping to achieve by sharing the photo? Would you share this photo with your friends’ parents? Talk about positive pictures only! Encourage them to only share, like and send pictures of people, places and activities that make them feel good. A note on selfies. I love and respect your whole being, and you should, too. Please do not post inappropriate pieces or sections of you. If you share a picture, I want it to be your whole, true “selfie.”)
Tell an adult if anything online feels creepy or weird. (You will not get in trouble for asking for help)
Set all of my online accounts to “private”.
Set a password and share my passwords for devices and apps with you.
Tell you if I add, text or interact with anyone online who I do not know. (What does this mean? If you spend time with someone in person, they are a real friend...friends of friends are not friends.)
Only use one screen at a time. (Using a phone while watching TV or doing homework, for example, lead to information overload and increase digital distractions)
I will not…
Use devices before school in the morning, at mealtime or while I’m doing my homework. (Screen time in the morning raises cortisol levels and causes dysregulation making it difficult to focus on school work. Even if you are eating alone, enjoy your meal, don’t distract yourself with a device.)
Bring any device to school without communicating with you first. (Most schools are creating device-free school days for a reason)
(depending on age, some parents will add: take my device into the bathroom, out of the house, off the first floor, etc.)
Share inappropriate content or information I’m not sure is true. (If you’re unsure, just ask. There’s a meme culture, especially among boys, that is subtly racist. Some boys may not be aware. Warn them.)
Share my age, full name, address, phone number or other personal information online (No one should ever ask you for any information about yourself on this device. If they do, stop and tell us so we can keep you safe).
Share my passwords with anyone other than you or let anyone use my device. (Likewise, you should not use anyone else’s device at any time. The rules we follow in our house apply outside of the house, too.)
Share my location publicly or with accounts I don’t know personally. (Should someone you don’t know request personal information about you, notify a parent right away).
Be mean, spread rumors or make fun of people on or offline. (Censor yourself - anything you post is permanent and public. Stick up for others online or tell an adult. Respect people’s privacy. Don’t spam. Be prepared to talk with adults when you FaceTime your friends and act appropriately. You don’t always know who is listening.)
Set up accounts on social media until I have talked with you. (We do not recommend social media before 16)
Talk to anyone online who I do not know offline. (What does this mean? If you spend time with someone in person, they are a real friend...friends of friends are not.)
Safety Limits:
I can use my devices to game/text/socialize for _____ hours per day on weekdays and ______ hour(s) per day on weekends, but only once I am done with _______________. (Time limits: Depends on a child’s age and commitments. Prioritize time off the screen to make time for sleep, self-care, reading, writing, creativity, chores, etc. Examples: after lunch and after you are dressed with chores and homework completed)
Tech Free Day: I will abstain from using all devices on __________day every week.
I will consume age-appropriate content, which I understand is ______________, unless I have your permission.
Do not take inappropriate pictures of yourself or anyone else. Keep your private parts private. One day you will have a decision to make about this. Don’t search/view/share anything you wouldn’t share at the dinner table, including pornography. If you have questions about sex, ask mom or dad. The internet is not the place to find reliable information about sex. (This can be edited based on the age of your child. I know this is difficult to talk about but it’s important!)
I will not use my device while crossing the street, driving, at school, ________________(choose and/or add: outside of our home, while walking home from school, etc.. Think safety. This will depend on the age of your child and how they can stay safe).
Reflection:
I will regularly take breaks from my devices and reflect on the time I spend online connecting with others vs. consuming content. (This is really important. Tech is intentionally designed to keep us consuming while the minutes and hours tick by. If we don’t stop to think about how it’s impacting us, we are no longer in control.)
I will prioritize the people in front of me, not my devices. (People come first)
I will live in the moment. The world is bigger than a screen and my life is what I pay attention to. If your attention is compromised, then your life is compromised.
I will lean into discomfort and not use my devices as a distraction. (if you need help, ask)
I will think twice before sharing content. Anything I post is public and permanent. (If you’re unsure, ask. We are in this together)
I will tell my parents or a trusted adult immediately if I see something online that is dangerous, destructive, or scares or worries me. My trusted adults are _________________________________________________________________ (Too Big to Handle Clause: Some situations are dangerous. Notify an adult immediately if any of these things happen to you or someone you know:
any inappropriate sexual behavior, abuse or assault, including excessive viewing of porn,
bullying, physical abuse, extreme sarcasm, exclusion, withdrawal (phubbing, ghosting, a friend who suddenly goes and stays dark),
self harm, risky behaviors or talk of suicide,
drug and alcohol abuse,
reckless driving habits, including texting while driving,
any situation that makes you feel icky, uncomfortable or worried. Trust your instincts.
You will not be in trouble for discussing these situations with an adult. We will support you and work with you to find a solution.)
I understand that…
You can take away my phone and other devices at any time. You own it.
You will be taking an active role in my safety online and will be prioritizing my safety over my desire for privacy. (I recommend being very open about this and checking texts randomly but regularly. When you check texts, remember that you’re looking for dangerous or risky behavior, and opportunities to teach your child good digital citizenship. Collaborate on what will happen if you find something inappropriate. A good rule of thumb: If you feel someone is in danger, you will have to act to get that person help. If the behavior is inappropriate, you will have a discussion with your child.)
We can revisit this Technology Agreement any time and update it as needed.
Having a phone and other devices connected to the internet is a privilege and a responsibility that I will take seriously.
Acknowledgement:
By signing below, I acknowledge that I have read, understood, and agree to follow this contract.
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Child Signature
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Parent/Guardian Signature
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Parent/Guardian Signature
